Belzebuub

Starting From Unbalanced Centres

Q: I have experienced a similar thing as I'm sure everyone here has. In that situation, it's like we know we're looking for that stillness, for the awareness, but like a cloudiness is keeping us from getting it - so we apply the death to that cloudiness? Is that right? Or, are we not in a position to apply the death then?

Belzebuub: That cloudiness is a consequence of the egos in the centres. When the egos are in the centres, the energies are all mixed up. So then you try to be a bit aware and it's like you are half drunk, a bit dizzy. You can't focus; it's almost like a state of lethargy. That's a result of the centres being unbalanced and mixed up. What you have to do is just keep practising the death and being aware until all that starts to clear. You'll notice that in that cloudiness, in that lethargy, egos do arise; egos are going to come up again and again and again, and you need to apply the death to them, so that not only are they cleared, but   the cloudiness is cleared as well. Then you  start getting more settled, the centres themselves become balanced, and then you have more clarity.

Q: I know that in the topic on the death, it mentions that you ask internally, using words, like you say the phrase internally. I know that it's been said to me before, and I've noticed from practising it,  sometimes when I'm more clear, you can just have that... it's like you just ask, and then it, it can just slice right through them I guess, and so they just go and leave the centres, if I'm more clear, then sometimes if I'm in a less clear state, and I'm fighting to get that, it can be difficult, like the egos can almost override that intention to die or that impulse to die, and things get very messy. Can you comment on that at all?

Belzebuub: Well, the egos can go if they are small enough. If you're in a good state, when you've already cleared the centres, and you see this thought or emotion just appearing, and you ask for its disintegration, then it can go because it's small and you're already clear, and there's the energy to get rid of it.

But when  the centres are unbalanced, then they're already full of egos, and it's easy for one to come in and  rock everything about to make it murkier. Even when you're clear, if the ego is large enough, it can just take over. When that happens, that's when you've got to dig your feet in, dig your heels in and ask, even though you don't feel like asking, because it's the only way to get out of it. You can wait for time to pass, and another ego to come in, so what happens is that people feel low, and then they go and turn on the television, for example, or they go playing football or turn to alchohol, or something like that – it's an escape then from the negative feelings within. And it's much more difficult to actually face that strong emotion and to die to it. But facing it is the only way, because the alternative is that this thing carries on, the centres become unbalanced, and then misery crops up. And for misery to crop up, just something little has to go wrong - it can start raining or something, and you get miserable. The slightest thing can happen: drop your cup and it was the last straw, the same miserable people turn up, knock on your door...

<Laughter>

...and this misery then goes on and on and on. There's no end to it, unless you can distract yourself in the normal run of life with entertainment and pleasures, to try to go to the other side, but those pleasures are still within the unbalance, so you're still then going to have the entertainment finishing and be left with a horrible inner state of misery. It's a vicious circle; the only way out is to apply the death, and to practice alchemy.

There's no other way. You've got to get the centres balanced, you've got to die to that state even though you don't feel like doing it. When you can apply the death like that, you then get a certain strength  that allows you to overcome the difficulties that arise, because it's no good  trying to do this work and then backing off when there are difficulties. If the difficulty can be overcome, then it's better to face it. Of course, everything goes by circumstances, but generally if there's some sort of difficulty that you are having trouble with psychologically – I'm not saying a physical thing – but a psychological difficulty, it's better to persist with the death so that it goes, and then the next time you are not so weak as to fall by the wayside when something like that turns up and comes along. This way you gain a strength and an experience, and if the ego dies, then the consciousness that was contained within that defect goes back to the original consciousness, but it goes back with the knowledge of that defect. So then you have more consciousness, but consciousness of life, consciousness of egos. And then you become - start to become - quite a different person then, as that goes on.

Q: The most common problem I have, in daily life, that keeps me from getting that peace during the day, is that there are details coming up and they're very obvious and they're very small. And those I can apply the death to seemingly with ease, but then there's always something at the bottom of it that's very, very big, it's this very big emotion that's uncomfortable in some way, like it varies, it could be like a negative discomfort, or an anxious discomfort, but there's always there's big emotion at the bottom of it.

And I do admit that that's the thing that I tend to be the least persistent with, because I just wait for the smaller details to just pile on top of that, to apply the death to those, but it does seem like if I do try to apply the death to that discomfort, like even right now, it seems like that's just the general ego that's here, and the little thoughts and things aren't as common as that. But in applying the death to that, I'm applying the death to the same thing over and over and over again, and I get this idea that I'm doing nothing, because I'm not applying the death to details, it's just the same thing. Am I wrong?

I know that sense in itself that I'm doing nothing is another detail. But I seem to be very incapable of making progress with the big discomforts.

Belzebuub: Alchemy helps a lot to shift those big egos, because they're to do with the centres being unbalanced and the state of the energies themselves, and its alchemy that cleans the energies and purifies them. However, the death in itself and the awareness can break that underlying feeling. For example, if on the walk you managed to be aware for moments - did you manage that?

Q: Yes.

Belzebuub: Now, if it really was being aware, you would have broken that inner state. Did you manage to do that?

Q: Yes.

Belzebuub: Right, now you can see that it can be broken, now you can see that there is a goal to reach, and the more that you break it, the more that you're weakening the actual grip that ego has, because you're taking away its food. So, by taking away its food, it has less strength over you. Do you understand? You really have to work hard to break that underlying state, and that takes the work, the psychological work we were doing yesterday, plus activity, activity in the sense of being involved in teaching and being involved in practising. Because then you have to get as clear as you can be in order to help other people, and by helping other people you get help yourself, and by practising with a group, there is a strength that really helps anybody to lift up out of negative states. If you think of what could have happened if you'd have gone for a walk on your own, or  with your next-door neighbours, or the family. How successful would you have been in finding that stillness?

Q: Probably not that successful. But still possibly as long as they were not so present.

Belzebuub: So there you see, in a little example, the influence of environment and the influence of activity. If the activity is a family get-together - having a glass of wine or whatever they do, walking, chattering up the mountain, getting there, “Ah! Great view, look I can see my chalet down there!” - it's just not the same; all the forces around you are going to be different.

That's why the activity at the centre, practising with other people, is very, very important. But you need to have this goal,   so that you break these negative states, these constant states, states of whatever they are. And the goal is to get to stillness. You can have that stillness not just when you're sitting down quietly; you can have that stillness in anything that you're doing, in whatever you're doing.

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