Belzebuub

The next day

Emphasising Self-observation and the Death of the Egos

Belzebuub: As we yesterday explored the awareness, looking at silence and peace, you probably would have noticed that there's a great obstacle to it: the egos. The egos take away that peace.

If you have been trying a bit yesterday you'll have gained an idea or a flavour of what it is that we're aiming for. Obviously, no one can really be given the experience of what it is to have the Being  and other higher parts incarnated, unless there's a special and rare help from the divine hierarchs. But usually, you don't get that information, you don't get that experience. What we can do at the beginning is to really see what the essence itself is capable of. So, hopefully with that silence during the walk, the practice yesterday, you will have some kind of...not idea, but knowledge of what that silence is, and what it is that we are trying to achieve when we say 'awareness'.

With this goal then, we're going to look at the real obstacles to that peace, to that silence inside, and these are the different egos. We all have some information about them: how they steal the energy, how they make us feel unpleasant, and how they give pleasure and pain. But, the important thing is to know how to observe them, how to see them. Because information is alright, but it's not the same as our own knowledge, the knowledge that we get from really seeing things for ourselves. So, it's important to get this observation right, to learn how to observe, and to be able to apply it throughout the day.

Now, the egos appear rapidly. They can appear one after the other in a fast sequence, or they can appear as big emotions that seem like they'll never go away. So for both of these, and for the whole spectrum of egos that's in between, we apply the death. Now, to apply the death takes an effort, because we have to first observe, and we don't observe if we don't make the effort. The effort is the thing that allows us to see what's going on inside. However, you won't make the effort unless you really have a goal, such as a goal to get free of the abyss or a goal to achieve peace and stillness inside. If you really have a goal, then you'll apply the death, because you'll do it knowing why you're doing it. And hopefully, you'll then apply it throughout daily life, through whatever it is that you're trying to do.

This observation needs to be sharpened so that you can apply it at any time. If you don't have the correct observation, you'll just apply it occasionally, and then it won't be really effective. It's quite ineffective to observe the egos just a few times during the day, because if you observe, you'll see that they crop up continuously, one after the other. One appears, then another, then another, and so on. And if we're not observing, we will miss all that. Then, we will be bound by those egos, we'll be acting through those egos, and time will go by, and nothing will have been done, fundamentally. Even though we might teach, carry out various practices, and so on, if we're not observing, we're not seeing the egos. We're not dying to them.

When you die to an ego, what you should have is that sense of peace, that stillness. If you're not in that stillness, it's the egos. Thought can be tricky because it's needed, we need to think; however, the egos get into thought, so, for example, you get a song on your mind, you feel or think negatively towards a person, and often these thoughts are accompanied by negative or pleasurable feelings. When you get that, apply the death to the thought. You ask for the ego to be disintegrated. You see the egos rapidly, you apply the disintegration. We're going to try this today. This is going to be the main theme that we're going to look at today and follow through, so that you learn to get it right. Because you've got to get this right in order to really do this work. If it's not right, you're never really going to get the work together. It's never going to happen, just because you're in a centre, or forming groups, or teaching people. It doesn't mean you're doing anything at all in terms of progressing spiritually. It's the death that's vital.

Now, we can actually deceive ourselves, even though we're doing the death, because there are egos that are very, very tricky, and there are some that you just don't want to die to. That's why sacrifice is very important, so that we sacrifice our pleasures, sacrifice negative thoughts towards others, sacrifice feelings of and thoughts of being better than other people, because through these things there's a lot of deception.

Each person lives in their own little world, perceiving the world through the coloured glass of the egos. If a person really doesn't want to remove that coloured glass, even though they apply the death, they will be in a state of self-deceit and will have ultimately very little strength, or they will turn into a Hanasmussin which is a person with a double centre of gravity. this is a person who practices alchemy, who creates the energy to strengthen the essence, but  that energy, because there's a lack of death, also goes to feeding egos. And unfortunately, in the past, there have been a lot of Hanasmussins, people who have practiced alchemy, and who, nevertheless, haven't properly died, who have been deceived by the egos. And that's very dangerous.

Hanasmussins can then go from life to life deceiving not only themselves but other people as well, because they appear to have a very great spiritual side, but underneath, there's a nasty side which has been developed. So, self-deceit is a very important thing to observe and to overcome.

If we look at how many people have taken up Gnosis, we see that very few people have actually managed to apply it properly and die to the egos, very few. Why is that? There are a couple of important points to consider:

Firstly, there's a lack of sacrifice, a lack of personal effort to actually apply the death.

Secondly, there is the state of self-deceit in which a person really doesn't think they have to die to the egos. Or a person takes this work as a religion, in which case they're just very happily attending, going through the motions, content, even though it can be part of their religion to say, “I don't believe, I just try to experience” - even that can be a form of self-deceit. So watch out. Observe inside; there's a whole heap of deceitful egos waiting to be discovered, but they will never be discovered if there is no self-observation. If we don't have self-observation, they will continue to deceive.

And then, a whole life will go by, wasted. And a life is a very valuable opportunity. How many beings exist on the earth, how many creatures live? It's a phenomenal number. And how many have human bodies? And of those with human bodies, how many have access to the teaching? And of those who have access to the teaching, how many have actually taken it up? So then you see that a life in which someone takes up the teaching is actually rare. It's not common at all.

And to waste an opportunity like this is a tragedy that a person who hasn't tried will only understand when death comes,  when they, with their Being showing them, will see every moment that was wasted, every ego that manifested. And that, although you may not know it or understand it, is a terrible, terrible thing to go through. Something that you will understand if you fail, because at some point you will be looking back upon this moment and seeing the opportunity that you had.  Obviously it's up to you, it's up to each individual whether they use that opportunity or not, or whether it is like another moment that passes in the events of life, just as they pass for all the people in the world whose lives go past and end in they know not what. But they do end ultimately, they end in destruction, in a nightmarish hell, because life is actually quite rough. It's not at all easy to do this work; it's very difficult. But life itself is very difficult, having a body that breaks down, that ages, decays, ultimately dies – it's not a pleasant thing. Not an easy thing. As those who have seen relatives or friends die, it can be quite a grotesque thing. Life isn't all wonderful. Animals eat other animals. People are born into poverty, into misery, pain, and suffering. Through all of this, this pain, and the pleasure, we have the opportunity to awaken. Whether or not we use it is up to us. It's purely an individual thing; no one else can do it for us.

Next