Belzebuub

As I grew up, I had many psychic or paranormal experiences; I took them as normal at the time, because I didn’t know any different. They continued until I was around fifteen years old, but had been fading away since about twelve.

As a child I was frightened of the dark, and would have to go to sleep with the lights on. In the beginning my parents told me that it was just my imagination, but they would later change their minds.

As soon as it became dark, I would hear noises, including taps, knocks, voices, an old lady laughing, footsteps, etc. My father would often come in to reassure me that everything was alright, that it was just my imagination. But these noises, moving shadows, objects which appeared in different places from where they were left etc., became a permanent part of my daily life, although no-one else knew about them, until my parents invited a friend of mine to stay overnight. When the light went out in my room, he became terrified as these specters appeared. He hardly slept and vowed never to return - he never did. Another friend was invited another time, with the same results.

On occasions, these appearances could be heard from outside my room. After many years, I decided to have a frank discussion about it with my parents (never ones to admit the existence of the paranormal). We sat down in the living room and I said to them that the house was haunted. They started to say it was impossible, but just as I spoke, a loud thumping and scraping noise, which came from hauling heavy furniture, went right across the ceiling from my room above. I and friends had heard this sound many times before, so I said to them, “What’s that then?” My mother looked at me resigned and almost angry, and said, “We had better get a priest and get the house exorcised.” We never did; we just lived with it.

Amongst the things I would see when the lights went out, were strange, large, amoeba shaped forms. These hovered around me; they had a life of their own and seemed to have the capability of communication in a strange sort of way. They were almost mocking towards me and felt inherently evil.

There were more in the beginning, but as time passed they grew fewer, as one by one they merged with me. I could see them in the space above me, leaving their position and coming towards me. As they came into me, I could feel the evil merging with me; each one was different.

This continued until I was seven - then one night there were no more left. I was outside at night some days later, and I looked up at the full moon. I held my arms up towards it in an almost celebratory gesture and said, “The evil is not outside me any more, because it’s inside me.” Years later, through Gnosis, I found out that these are the different selves, parts of the subconscious, which enter a child gradually as the personality forms, until the age of seven.

Amongst the many phenomena going on around me, one is worth mentioning here. One evening after dark, a friend and I were playing in the garden and I began talking about supernatural things. Suddenly the temperature dropped. “It's gone cold,” my friend said. Then a huge demonic form, about twelve feet high, semi-transparent, with bat-like wings, appeared in the garden. My friend shouted “Run!” so we ran into the back lane as he headed for home. As we did, there was a massive cracking sound in the tree above us. The tree split and part of it came crashing down. We kept running; there was no-one around and not even a gust of wind.

Another interesting event, was the time that my pet dog eventually died. A boy in school taunted me, laughing about it, so when I got home from school, I performed a ritual of my own invention towards him. Soon after he discovered his own pet dog dead - it had strangled itself by its own leash.

I had a lot of ESP as a child and would often predict future events, such as when I announced that Val, a child at school who had been away from the school for a year would come back, and he appeared that same day.

I would play games with my friends where they would mentally think of a number between one and ten, and accurately I’d tell them what it was. This could go on for a long time. At one point the predictions became so frequent, that I knew what the teachers at school would be talking about in their lessons throughout the day. In the morning before class started, I wondered what the point of going to school was, although this obviously didn't last.

When I was somewhere around ten years old, the Daily Mirror national newspaper put on a psychic experiment to find Britain’s most psychic person, or to test psychic abilities. A well known psychic at the time called Matthew Manning I think, went to the Post Office tower in London and broadcast a series of things with his mind. Participants had to try to ‘see’ what he was broadcasting.

At the appropriate time, I held a pencil and a notebook and closed my eyes. I began to draw a series of items including a house, a number and other things. I also picked up on flags flying around the place and, with my eyes closed, made random marks on the notebook. When I opened my eyes, I was surprised to see a well drawn fish – this wasn’t in the experiment, I included it at the time.

Participants were supposed to post their results to the newspaper. I thought of doing it, but my intuition told me not to. Days later the newspaper released the results of the test. I had everything right apart from one digit in a number - had I submitted my results, I would have had the highest score. Just as well I didn’t though, because I heard that the winner was later subjected to scientific tests. Matthew, speaking about the experiment, later said that he found it difficult to concentrate on the objects because he was surrounded by flags, which made him lose concentration.

I never had a classic experience of astral projection as a child, but I did have lucid dreams in which I would fly. My dreams were quite clear and often contained messages that I could understand. There were so many premonitions in my dreams that I learned to trust them as a source of guidance, although I didn’t know where they came from.

My trust in these dreams was put to the test, when one night I dreamt that I had a fight with a boy at school. When I tried to hit him in the dream, he just stood there smiling. I hit him as hard as I could again and again, but it made no difference whatsoever, no matter how hard I tried. I began to feel frustrated and then fearful. I knew I could do nothing to hurt him or stop him, as soon as I felt that he hit me. I couldn’t recover.

The next day in school that same boy picked a fight with me. I couldn’t get away from it, but I remembered the dream and knew intuitively what to do: as he attacked I put my hands behind my back and smiled at him. He hit me again and again as hard as he could, just as I had done in the dream. I stood there unmoving, then I saw the look on his face change. I knew exactly how he felt from the way I had felt in the dream; his face went from frustration, to incomprehension, to fear. At that moment I knew he was finished, so I took my right arm out from behind my back and hit him once. He fell to the ground and despite me calling for him to get up, he wouldn’t - I knew how he felt. I had learned to learn from my dreams.

There were always bullies around. I tried to understand how anyone would wish to hurt another, but I couldn't - it was beyond my understanding at the time. Only much later as an adult, when I knew more about the animal drives, did I begin to understand what motivated a bully.

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